Doing not well = Not doing it

Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it.
– Elias Schwartz

I don’t know whom is this Elias Schwartz. With a second of googling I guess maybe the name belongs to Elias E. Schwartz jr "Ed", an army general, and now a grandfather.

But this quote is damn right (maybe to a perfectionist). This is the spirit of the A type persons, that they cannot tolerate any mistake, because any mistake may mean it is not doing well, which, according to this general Elias Schwartz, equals to something not worth doing, and hence, by doing that, a bit of the doer’s life is wasted, and wasting time is a sin that these perfectionists have zero tolerance.

But I am not a perfectionist. I just, sometimes, have the feeling of to become a perfectionist, thus to be more fruitful. I have this kind of feeling partly because, I have wasted too much of my time, and I feel not good about it. By definition of mitbbs.com, I am sure to be categorized into the "loser", and to be shamed by those "elites", or winners. Compared to them, I am old and poor, I am in a 3rd or 4th tier school, I am in a research field not known to most, I have not published any paper, and I don’t see a bright future.

I don’t know if I should feel shame about it. Sometimes I don’t worry about all these conditions, sometimes, I hope that I could be much younger, much wealthier, and publish a paper every 10 days. I know these are daydreams and I don’t take them seriously – just another way to waste, or kill, my time, since now the time seems to be boring and should be spent with doing nothing but daydreaming. I don’t feel happy all the time, although sometimes I do feel joyful. Sometimes even a small thing makes me happy, like reading this quote, or a splendid joke, or a great episode of Friends, or a new Ig Nobel award winner and the related weird research, blablablah. These are trivial happiness, and only with these, that I have not become pessimistic.

Of course, this quote stands for the ideas of a group of great people, that they think they are elites (and possible that is the fact), and they devote all their time working for the benefit of the people, or saving the world. They want to be "the best of the best of the best…", like the one navy in the film Men in Black. I admire these guys, I wish I could behave like them, that every time I play go, I am performing with my best knowledge, and every time I read, my mind cannot be distracted by the music, and more and more. And then, I will become a high ranking player in gokgs.com, and I will read more books in a month than those I read in a year.

Life sucks then. Some of the life is meant to be wasted, and that’s the way our brain works. The part, reticular formation, locates in the pons and regulates the alertness. Another part, basal ganglia, is activated every time a novelty appears and gives the brain reward for having novelty by sending more dopamine to nucleus accumbens. The brain tends to be diverted, distracted, attracted, motivated, to the new, and maybe that’s why people cannot always hold on their attention on one thing till it is done, especially when it takes a lengthy time.

So that is my attitude: take it easy, do whatever I want to do, make myself happy, and, sometimes, do it and do it well, when it is really important.

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