Time to express?

Read and read and read and not write, at least not in quantity.

This has been life for all these years.

Maybe that is why sometimes I feel boring, because, it is really hard to try to understand different writers, smart or not, good or bad in style, humorous or tiresome, etc. And also because, there are just so many to read, for which I am sure that, no matter how fast I read and how many time I devote to it, I can only read a teeny tiny bit of all the babbles. Reading seems to be a road never ends. And I doubt if I can get closer to the truth by just reading more.

And maybe, another reason more important is that, probably at least once during one’s life, one has the eccentric gut feelings of the need of leaving a mark of one’s very existence. Life is ephemeral, and one’s existence is doomed to be forgot. The human being is a specie of animals that has a longer short memory: that is, history is reserved by folklores and history books and there are a few persons whose names are known even after 2,000 years. But 2,000 years is just a blink during the evolution of the humans, and already numerous heroes and elites just passed away without any trace of their existence except possibly, in a never-read book in the largest library.

Yet sometimes we just strive to do something, something to prove that we have existed in this earth, at this time. We treasure our names, we hold on the belief that if tremendous things will be done, our names will be remembered by our descendants. It is a short sight, something shared by all the animals, and we think the near future is the first priority. Under this kind of illusion, we belief it is possible that, we can leave a mark by doing something unique, or by expressing ourselves.

It is, of course, the easier one to express oneself, compared to achieving some extremely marvelous high points. That’s why I should just try to express and to write something.

Some benefits are foreseeable. First, surely, I can improve my language usage: writing, vocabulary, style, punctuation, pragmatics, etc. Second, I can improve my thinking, because writing is not easy: it requires force and elegance and deeply thinking. Third, at least I can kill some time by writing, and make life much happier. Forth, of course it will help my career and deepen my understanding of the principles and get me prepared for future teaching.

And, this is something I’d like to do.

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